Hi everyone! I'm very pleased to share with you guys a blogpost from our 3rd individual contributor to the blog, this one from Vitor De Souza Carneiro, from Sydney Australia. He has graciously offered to write a bit about his experience with his Schwannoma in the period leading up to surgery. I'm very grateful to Vitor for sharing his story, and we all join in wishing him well in surgery, healing and recovery. Neil
Five weeks before my surgery. Since I discovered the tumor in my spine
(October, 2011) the thought of not having it removed has always roved
my mind. When I first heard I had the tumor it wasn’t as bad as the news
I had to get it removed by surgery.
The first Neurosurgeon I
saw was very straight to the point and dealt with the situation in a
very cold manner. I did not receive that well. He was a very reputable
doctor but at the time I wasn’t prepared to surrender for such
objectivity and coldness.
I went home after that consultation
and started a long process of researching about my condition. Nowadays
it is relatively easy to access information (which is totally different
than knowledge) and draw a map of the situation. And that is what I did.
I read about schwannomas, it is growing nature and tendencies, about
the procedures, watched youtube videos of surgeons operating on, read
peer reviewed articles on the spinal surgery and schwannoma theme. Well,
that is the easy bit... It is all there for us to see... But when I
look at the bigger picture, it gets complex.
The information I
mentioned above is rooted in science, and as we all know (or should
know), it has its limitations. The blunt truth is: I am a lab rat and a
solid knowledge about tumors and how to deal with them in a effective
way is still being developed. This is the reason why we are so scared
about dealing with spinal tumors. We have no guarantees whatsoever and
our options are very restricted. Unfortunately, it is a gamble, and I
can only hope for the best (that is how I feel).
I went on to
look at other alternatives. I got to know about people that chose not be
operated to remove cancer and are doing fine, people that cured their
conditions by changing their diet, acupuncture, herbs, yoga,
meditation... and so on. It was very important for me. I really enjoyed
experiencing this whole new field of possibilities. Learning about
other ways to understand myself and this new moment. I understood that
It wasn’t about simply removing the tumor... It was about living, about
how to deal with the unknown, about what really matters in my life. It
was about self discovery.
It sounds weird but I kinda gotta
excited about the whole thing. I traveled to be close to my family and
dear friends. I spent time and talked with them. They listened and
helped me realize something important: I shouldn’t deny western
medicine, I should balance my live and a complementary approach was the
way. Complementary in a sense that I will make use of different
approaches to deal with the tumor and the outcome of the surgery.
While I was away, I also met this guy in a party. He had had surgery
about 2 years ago to removed a Schwanomma from his lower back. He had
no leftovers and lived life to the fullest.
Got back home
last October (2012) and went to meet another doctor to have a second
opinion. He was a bit more opened then the first one. Took the time to
explain better my condition and possible problems if I didn’t remove the
tumor. Maybe the first doctor did the same thing but I wasn’t prepared
to listen. He wanted to operate soon. I said I needed more time because
of a few personal issues (work related). We booked the surgery for 6
months later. Before I leave his room I shook his hand strong and
looked in his eyes. I said: We doing it doc, we doing it together. He
gave me a look like: Weird, this guy is weird. Oh, well...
Now
it is getting close. I have been preparing myself. Eating good food,
being healthy, doing yoga, running, swimming, loving... keeping a high
spirit, enjoying each moment. Sometimes I get scared as well. Is it
gonna be all right? I know it is going to hurt. It is a little bit like
going on a big adventure. Exciting but scary at the same time.
I
am glad I took the time I needed for it all to sink in. I feel a lot
more grounded now. This group has helped me heaps and I hope that by
sharing my experience I can help other people.
Vitor De Souza Carneiro
(Disclaimer: advice shared on this
blog or on our related Facebook page cannot be a replacement for proper
medical treatment by a trained physician. Speak with a Doctor before
making any medical decisions.)
